Fraternities and the problem of hippies here

From: KENYON::[WITHHELD] "GET DOWN & ROW" 9-MAY-1999 20:49:42.36
To: @TO:ALLSTU
CC:
Subj: Fraternities and the problem of hippies here

There is a problem with hippies here.
In light of the recent spate of emails concerning Pierce, the "catwalk," and fraternities, we would like to address this problem. In a debate where Pierce has become "ground zero," why not shift our attention to Gund, the stronghold of--not the fraternal social matrix--but a much more sinister presence on our fair campus.

First, let us ask, Who are these people? Theirs is obviously a penetrating influence on the social aspect of this stellar institution. They bring their bearded, unwashed cultural relativism into the realm of the dining room, specifically gund, dirtying the air for those of us who agree with good family values, drug free living, and the american way as exemplified in the movies and television programs of the nineteen fifties.

The focus on the Social Darwinism recently apparent in the Pierce dining facility has created a vaccuum on the North End of campus which has allowed this menace to flourish and wrest control of the complex social structures of Gund. The menace, in a word, is this: these "bohemians" and "roustabouts" monopolize the patio area of the Gund Servery, pretending to bask in the rays of sunlight and the glory of nature. Approaching the servery from the north, down the curving slope of sidewalk from the Mather residence, one immediately senses the presence of "hippie sentries" keeping a vigil over their dark posse of vagabonds and miscreants.

These sentries are, we have come to understand, at the top of the hippie social structure. They monitor levels of "dankness," rejecting all that they arbitrarily deem "schwag." This reification of language is not the issue, however, but rather the fact that they judge those who walk by. The lack of hand woven hemp necklaces, absence of the foot-eye coordination necessary for "foot bagging," and the ownership of a Chevette, rather than a "fatty" bus or "kind-organic" Saab are no reasons for having to endure the intense scutiny, bordering on surveillance, and judgement of these so called hippies.This campus will never be safe until we can all walk around, doing whatever we like, without anyone anywhere judging us or even noticing. Jugdement is the root of all evil. If there's one thing we've learned from the gender department and
the master foucault, it's that no one can judge anyone about anything except sexist behavior.

This reminds us of a sensetive issue of concern, namely, the prevalence of phallic structures throughout the campus proper. Caples was obviouly built as a reminder of the male genitalia, as was peirce tower, the water tower, and all the other tall buildings around. All of them need to be destroyed. Remember, don't construct, deconstruct!!!!

Consider the issues:
1. Hippies using woks at Gund
2. Presence of hippie intimidation tactics
ie: horseplay and hijinks/antics (treeclimbing, etc.)
near Gund servery
3. Presence of hippie sentries on patio
4. Unrelated presence of phallic structures in Gambier

-brought to you by the committee for a better Gund without hippies

[NAME WITHHELD] "dank" [NAME WITHHELD]
[NAME WITHHELD] "kind" [NAME WITHHELD]
[NAME WITHHELD] "fatty organic" [NAME WITHHELD]